You close your eyes

When you close your eyes, your world is not void.

It is in flashes of red, of gold, of scandalously bright pinks, flickering like stars on the backdrop of a bruised black.

You can stand in the budding light of a winter dawn, the chilly morning breeze whipping around you, and shades of pastel pinks and oranges bloom into being.

In the punishing glare of a mid-day sun, your world is a flaring red: it soaks you in delicious warmth, drowning you in an ocean of scarlet.

When the night shifts from dusk to twilight, the wilting glare of the fading sun shines a queer royal blue, embroidered with strands of sea-silver.

When you close your eyes, your world is magic.

The world outside is harsh, full of dull greys and insipid whites. But it doesn’t have to be so. The world beneath your eyelids is beautiful, and it’s yours.

So you don’t doubt, you don’t question.

You believe. Ignorance is key.

This place you see, of laughter and joy, of everlasting beauty and frivolous magic, is real. It has to be.

Because when you can’t trust yourself, what is there to live for?

You turn a blind eye, let yourself get caught up in the charade you create.

The truth is right before you, they say, but they’ll never understand.

You do not want to see. You do not want to know. You don’t ask. You don’t doubt.

You close your eyes, and believe.


Photo by Cédric Klei on Unsplash

PS In May 2019, I will be moving to a new web address. I’m shifting to a personal domain and I’m so, so excited for you to see it! Buying my domain is giving me so much more freedom for new features, design, and I can’t wait for you to get started there.

But on the downside, all those of you who’ve subscribed to my blog here WILL NOT be notified of new posts anymore. I’d hate for you to miss out just because I’ve shifted addresses, but WordPress doesn’t offer anything to straighten this out.

So to make sure the change is as smooth as possible, I’d be so grateful if you’d enter your email ID below so we can stay in touch. You can opt-out any time, no hard feelings. I hate spam and I’ll only be reaching out every two weeks or so for blog updates, I promise.

Thank you so much for all your support. ❤

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149 Comments Add yours

  1. Gorgeous, Natalie. “It is in flashes of red, of gold, of scandalously bright pinks, flickering like stars on the backdrop of a bruised black.” Decadent, vivid and bold..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad you liked it! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and leave such a lovely comment! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. drjackie1 says:

    As an artist, I live in color; your descriptions are mind-blowing. We do live beneath our eyelids, our only reality.
    Thank you for your insights, Natalie!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m glad you liked it! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment! ❤

      Like

  3. Bob Rogers says:

    I like your vivid imagery.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Bob! Glad you liked it! ❤

      Like

  4. Harshad Naik says:

    “Because when you can’t trust yourself, what is there to live for? ” This line is so deep.It makes one think in a loop.
    By the way Beautifully written.!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much, Harshad! Glad you liked it! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Harshad Naik says:

      Your Welcome .!!
      Please do check my page if time permits , open to suggestions and advice ..!! 😄

      Like

  5. Excellent discernment.

    Regards and goodwill blogging

    Like

  6. Ain’t that the truth! 😊💕

    Liked by 1 person

  7. KT says:

    Your pen is so powerful. I love it! Let the words flow.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. That means a lot ❤

      Like

  8. You have a way with words. Just beautiful, The more I scroll down the more bookmarks I find for myself.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much, Kalyan. That means a lot.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. ilonapulianauskaite says:

    you are talented

    Liked by 2 people

  10. KT says:

    Hmm. I see I already commented, but found myself reading this again. “You do not want to see.” I think that might be the truest sentence I’ve ever read for the mass of humanity. Thoreau said: The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. And when I add your sentence to it, I understand why.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s such a unique take on it… thank you for taking the time to read and share your thoughts here.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Splendid. Do the visually challenged feel this .Sorry an unfortunate thought to rise in vicinity of the beauty of your post. Keep up. Keep rocking.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Not at all. I’d like to think it’s possible: that you can feel sight in absense of a visual input… or maybe just an echo of it- like a memory- scrambled together from all other sensation.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. You think profoundly. It is visible in your writings. Carry on.

      Liked by 2 people

  12. mywritings21 says:

    “You do not want to see…. You don’t doubt. You close your eyes and believe.”
    Yes, it is all about “seeing” and “believing”.
    Each time i read, i discover something new. Thanks a lot again.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it ❤

      Like

  13. ……To live a fulfilled life is to be creative, to find it’s meaning and purpose, to leave something behind. So, to live is to explore the world that we live in, the outside world that we see, and the inside world of ourselves, our body and mind…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That was so beautifully said, Ianus. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Your welcome. I always try to read, listen or watch only those things that I consider myself to be of the best value, originality and quality.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Reminds me of a poem I wrote some time ago, about the Utopia you can shape and create within the realm of your dreams. But outside of it… you’d find a dystopia. A pessimistic outlook.

    I enjoyed your story here, because I don’t see it as someone who wants to shut himself/herself within his/her own mind. I see it more as someone who is shaping the future he wants, believing in it fully and ignoring those who try to talk him out of it. The ones who are filled with envy.

    Sometimes, you might think what you are hoping for is… a lie. But as long as you believe, it will happen (within the limits of the laws of the universe, of course).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’d like to believe that… but what are the limits of the universe?

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Hmm, that is a very good question. The first thing that comes to mind is flying. But we have almost conquered it completely, haven’t we? Jetpacks will probably become more popular with time. And I will not be surprised if in the future we will fly like in the sci-fi movies.

      Perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps there are no limits? Or maybe I just can’t come up with a good example.

      Liked by 1 person

    3. The lines between what we consider to be fantasy and reality are starting to blur. We have no limits, and yet we are constrained by that very fact. We are shackled by the overwhelming limitless of our universe, too many possibilities, a life where nothing is impossible, andhence everything must be done…

      Like

    4. I wouldn’t say everything must be done. The word “must” is… well, I am not fond of it. I don’t think there is such a thing as something one must do. There are always choices, and we can pick whatever we fancy.

      But yes, fantasy and reality are starting to merge somewhat. Science fiction is becoming science fact. I wonder if we will see orcs soon.

      Liked by 1 person

    5. I agree: there is always a choice, but the problem is that our notions of ‘success’ are climbing higher and higher.

      You can no longer simply get a job that pays well to sustain yourself, a family that you love, and friends you admire to consider yourself successful.

      No, you have to change the world.

      By telling you that nothing is impossible, the bar is being raised to heights you simply can’t reach, and you set yourself up for failure.

      Like

    6. I see your point and I understand your position, but I don’t agree with it completely.

      Nothing is impossible, yet that is not a bad thing! Continuing to climb higher and higher is actually positive, as long as you do so to further improve yourself. Not for the sake of status or grabbing the attention of others.

      At the same time, there are areas where you need to understand that you cannot climb higher. For example, when you find your soulmate, there is absolutely no point to search higher, for you will find nothing else. BUT when you do find him or her, then you can start climbing together for new experiences. Things that will make Death herself want to hear what you have to say.

      Liked by 1 person

    7. I think I’m taking the same position to your argument as well: I understand where you’re coming from, but I don’t completely agree.

      I do love the new freedom this sort of a mentality gives us, but without limits, it’s a little overwhelming, all the time. You will never be enough, you will never be able to stop climbing. We’ve always known that. But the problem here is that people expect you to grow faster than you actually can, do more than you have, be more than you are. And while you can argue that those are societal expectations, a part of that will rub onto you, you can’t prevent that.

      Maybe that does improve the self but it can also lead to a serious dissatisfaction with your life, a constant unhappiness. When will you ever be able to stop and breathe? At what point will ‘settling’ be acceptable? Is it ever acceptable to settle?

      As for a soulmate, I can’t speak personally for that, but I understand what you’re getting at. At the same time, how can you ever know that this person is your soulmate? Like Miranda in The Tempest falling in love with Ferdinand simply becuase he’s the first man she’s ever seen, what if you simply haven’t seen enough? Who can tell what ‘true love’ feels like? How do you know what you’re feeling is love, and not just an infatuation? Last I checked, there’s no secret code that you can confirm with your soulmate that they’re the one. No one can tell the difference between a fairly costly mistake and a life worth living.

      Liked by 1 person

    8. I am enjoying our debate! I think it would go much better with some sips of brandy or whisky. And some music! Jazz?

      But to the topic at hand, I think it is all about attitude. It can definitely be overwhelming, but you can get used to the freedom. You can even see it as a video game, where you can constantly develop your skills and learn new ones. I think a good approach is to set goals for yourself to conquer. It can range from financial success to simple happiness. Perhaps, after a time, you simply state your goal as relaxing and taking a break. Or, you can keep on going and going ,staying active all the time. It all depends on you.

      And in regards to soulmates… I believe you just know. You get a feeling that cannot be denied. I am curious how it will be when it happens.

      Liked by 1 person

    9. Haha, definitely jazz.
      And yes, I can agree with you on that: perception matters. You are curious to find out what it’ll feel like, I’m scared that I simply won’t recognize the moment, that it’ll slip by me. Or even worse: I’ll make the wrong decision.
      But I suppose that if you’re choosing to believe in a soulmate, it’d be cruel to not believe in a predestined meeting, no matter what happens in between. I mean, going halfway in belief is a dangerous thing. And this belief seems to hold more happiness in it…
      While we’re on that, do you believe in cherry-picking faith? There are so many people who say that you can’t do that, that you can’t choose to trust in only whatever serves you. I’m only thinking aloud here, but if your belief doesn’t give you peace, there’s really no point in it, is there? We have faith to give ourselves hope, to keep us alive. Isn’t it acceptable for our faiths to shift and morph into whatever serves us at that point of our lives?
      Thoughts?

      Liked by 1 person

    10. Jazz it is!

      And don’t worry, my friend! When it happens, you will know and not want to say no. Hah, rhyme!

      Cherry-picking… hmm. Tough one. I believe you should focus on the truth. And the truth is that what the mind believes, it can achieve. I’ve read a story about a pastor (if I remember correctly) in “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill, who managed to get 1 million dollars in one day. THAT motivated me.

      We can always change our current situation from bad to best. We can always follow our dreams no matter our age. You need only place faith in that.

      Hope I’ve managed to answer your question. This is what came to my mind after I read your comment.

      Liked by 1 person

    11. I always love hearing about different perspectives… especially when it comes to more personal topics like these, people form more solid opinions, and it’s so interesting to see their reasoning behind it, don’t you think?

      Liked by 2 people

    12. I agree, with a nuance. Strong opinions are something I also have and people should as well. But not to the point they cross the line towards fanaticism.

      Look to the criticism you receive and see, objectively, if there is anything to learn and add from it.

      Liked by 1 person

    13. True: there’s a fine line between standing your ground and blinding yourself to all other perspective. I think if you can relate to what people are saying, but still choose not to believe in it, you’re on the safe side… though you can never really tell. I wonder sometimes, whether I’ve held my own opinions a litttle too firmly in the past. In retrospect, I feel like I’ve sometimes been blind to everyone else’s opinions, scorned and sneered at them without bothering to understand.

      What really bothers me is that you can’t recognize this lack of empathy when you’re drowning in it. It only surfaces with time. On the other hand, you can’t keep questioning yourself either…

      Liked by 1 person

    14. We have all been through such a phase, my friend. There is no point looking back with anger or sadness.

      We’ve all had unreasonably strong opinions, because we either thought it was 100% the truth or due to some other reason.

      And in regards to the questioning… sometimes it feels hard to stop. Yet, with time and practice we do become wiser and more capable. If we work on ourselves, of course.

      Liked by 1 person

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