Ephemeral

When I look into the mirror these days, I do not see myself.

I see the days that have passed and the days to come. I see the span of an entire life, fading and flushing as the years fly by.

As though a child is ruffling through the pages, zoning in and blurring out on each image, so fast- my head spins:

You, of a naive childhood, hair in pigtails, bound in colourful ribbon and effortless smiles.

You, of the infinite masks, each one giving way to the next, like dominoes poised by loathing and pleasure.

You, of a tempered heart and fearful eyes, opening doors with questions and a hidden knife.

Shades of myself but tinged in disparate colors.

Our hearts pump to the same rhythm and yet, they bridle against the beat, as if to deny this likeness.

We are shackled into this flesh by our hatred; our disdain for the last and jealousy of the next.

I see us- in our fettered hate- standing in line, salivating with contempt.

I imagine if time were a place, we would be stacked, a bundle of photographs, each one more faded than the last.


When I look through this mirror, I want nothing more than to reach through the glass and tell you everything you don’t want to hear.

I want to tell you of those dreams I have fulfilled with a blatant ingratitude. Of those hopes I have forgotten, carelessly, the whispered yearnings that lie discarded in some distant corner of my heart.

I want to reach through this barrier of time and tell you of your utter inconsequence in the life of our whole.

How little a difference your worrying made, how insignificant a change your obsessing bought.

I want to tell you how little distance you’ve covered for all your running, how much of our life you’d wasted.

I want to shake you until your teeth rattles, until tears tremble in your eyes.

You are the reason why I am the person I am today. You are the reason why I can’t stop running.

I want to force you to stop, for a moment, and let life pass by you. Second by second, inch by inch, I want you to feel torturously slow time tick by.

I close my eyes and I can feel it; this passage of time coursing through our veins.

And then I feel the glass pressing against my fingers, as if to protect you, defending you, and there is a burst of rage, stemming from an acute frustration.

I am fading, faster, faster, and you are still running, you don’t understand, we are fading photographs, growing lighter, lighter as we run.

I look into the mirror, light flickering on glass, and you are running, and I don’t understand why; why I can’t stop.

I want to stop, and let my life pass by me, be a spectator for a while, and you didn’t understand, just like I never do.

You; the girl in the pigtails, the one with the masks, the hidden knife; we are fading into nothingness, like the prettiest of sunsets- fading into the next, the next one, the one after, until there’s nothing left of us.

You, me, us, the ephemeral.

I want to stop, and feel the torturously slow seconds tick by, time coursing through my veins. I want to stop running, just for a while.

But you never understand.


Photo by Thomas Kinto on Unsplash

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105 Comments Add yours

  1. tahirbelieve says:

    You certainly do blur the lines between prose and poetry…Enjoyed my time reading it

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you. That means a lot.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Vanessa says:

    Wow, what a great read. Your blog is stunning too!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! That truly means a lot ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  3. nimidekanmbi says:

    Absolutely Fantastic read! i enjoyed it so much! Well done!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Nice thoughts. I just looked up the meaning for the word ephemeral. Ephemeral it is and that’s what makes everything special. If things were perennial including our selves we will have only disdain for it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you for the encouragement to stop and reflect for a change. Sometimes that’s hard to do. Very well done.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Anonymous says:

    I find an immediate relevance of the words with me, as I read this. Yet another piece of a marvelous creation indeed! Thanks a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad it resonated. Thank you.

      Like

    1. Thank you. That means a lot. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    2. A. Nonymous says:

      In the blink of an eye, decades flee

      Liked by 1 person

  7. cielotech says:

    Your web site is absolutely beautiful. Your writing is excellent. Thank you for posting and looking at my “Words of Wisdom”. Take care.

    Like

  8. Ra'ahe says:

    This is so gorgeously beautiful♥

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. That means a lot. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  9. gpavants says:

    Hello Sheya,

    Great images and thoughts. In many ways like poetic proverbs. In many ways it reminds me to slow down because you can miss something. I close my eyes and I can feel it; this passage of time coursing through our veins.

    Thanks,

    Gary

    On Sun, Jan 13, 2019 at 8:35 AM The Midnight Ember wrote:

    > Shreya Vikram posted: ” When I look into the mirror these days, I do not > see myself. I see the days that have passed and the days to come. I see the > span of an entire life, fading and flushing as the years fly by. As though > a child is ruffling through the pages, zoni” >

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad you enjoyed it, Gary. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    2. gpavants says:

      You bet. I try and encourage other as best I can. I only wish more people would start discussions or ask questions on our blogs. You feel like you really connect or help meet needs.

      Liked by 1 person

    3. I’m honored you feel that way, Gary. Thank you again, for your encouragement. It truly means a lot ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  10. So evocative and powerful!! Hauntingly beautiful.

    Like

    1. Thank you. That means a lot.

      Like

  11. Stopping running is hard work. This is so powerfully written and I understand it all too well. I have only recently stopped running. And I’ve been inspired by you to write a blog today. You are very gifted thanks for writing this! May your journey slow to living in the present moment and may peace envelope you. Again kudos and thank you for your raw authenticity.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this, Sarah. It truly means a lot to me. I wish you the same ❤

      Like

    2. ❤️ let’s keep pressing forward !!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Heather says:

    You’re incredible.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Suzette says:

    Your writing is so powerful. You’re extremely talented.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Suzette. That means a lot.

      Like

    2. Suzette says:

      🙂 Only speaking the truth.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. TanyaG says:

    So lovely and well written. It was so personal to me. I want to read more and more. The conversation was real. Thank you for sharing .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad you liked it, Tanya. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Nobbinmaug says:

    This is haunting and beautiful. The frustration, anger, and pain are palpable. Nicely done.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. I’m so glad you liked it. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  16. madhuri says:

    I am a newcomer to your blog, love it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Welcome, Madhuri. Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. I’m so glad you’re here, and I hope you’ll enjoy reading.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Nanu Gelda says:

    Loved reading this! I nominated you for the Sunshine Blogger award 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much, Nanu!
      I’m honored to be a nominee. I’m afraid I won’t be able to put up a post to formally acccept the nomination as I’m trying to keep the page an award-free zone, but I truly appreciate the gesture.
      And congratulations on your nomination! You deserve it ❤

      Like

  18. A. L. Watt says:

    This is very moving and cuts me to the bone because I see myself in your words. Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m so glad my piece resonated with you. Thank you for taking the time to read and share such a lovely comment. ❤

      Like

  19. areilly88 says:

    I’ll plan to read this again. There is something special here, something that grabs and pulls me in. Beautiful!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m so glad you felt that way. Amanda. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. It means a lot. ❤

      Like

  20. Susi Bocks says:

    So much life packed into all the lines, Shreya! And much to contemplate about our own lives and how we choose to live them. Very well done! Just beautiful how you drew me into every single line. Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for such a lovely comment, Susi. I’m so glad my piece resonated with you.
      How’s 2019 treating you?

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Susi Bocks says:

      So far so good! I published my 2nd book end of Dec 2018 and sales have started! I’m excited. 🙂 How about you?

      Liked by 1 person

    3. Woah, congratulations!
      I’m one of the very few people who will tell you that all I want for 2019 is more of 2018.
      Just more of the same, and I’m getting it.

      Liked by 1 person

    4. Susi Bocks says:

      Thank you, Shreya! That’s awesome that you are content and want more of the same! That is a place I find only occurs at specific times.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. I’m hooked. Your writing reminds me a bit of Neil Gaiman’s work when he was writing Sandman – delicate, beautiful and so very dark.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I don’t think I’ve ever received a more mellifluous compliment. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. It means a lot. ❤️

      Like

  22. Lucia says:

    Wonderful piece, finish reading it and read it two more times. I was extremely inspired.
    Thank you for your work.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. That means a lot, Lucia. I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

      Like

  23. “But you never understand”… nice touch leaving an air of mystery for this beautifully written piece.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, Vanessa. Glad you liked it.

      Like

  24. Apurv Raj says:

    Wow. I love the way you write. Your language is very beautiful and balanced.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, Apurv. That means a lot.

      Like

  25. Such beautiful imagery and soul grabbing. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Glad you liked it. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  26. chris2041 says:

    Wonderfully thought provoking and so well written and expressed.
    All is impermanence, all is change. We are the sum totality of all that has gone before, and the seeds of our becoming. All we truly have is the NOW!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I love the way you’ve said it, and I couldn’t agree more. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, Chris! ❤️

      Like

    2. chris2041 says:

      You’re welcome ☺

      Liked by 2 people

  27. livetheslip says:

    It is such a refective piece of writing which makes you ponder over your living.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read and share your thoughts here.

      Like

  28. spacesoul says:

    Damnn you’re a genius, this is so powerful and melancholy warm 💛

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you. I’m so glad you enjoyed reading.

      Liked by 1 person

  29. Taruna says:

    Powerfully poignant!!

    Liked by 3 people

  30. Shae says:

    This was so well written. Everything flows so well!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, Shae. That means a lot.

      Like

  31. I feel you … the temporary of it all … if only to be in the moment, not behind nor ahead.

    Liked by 2 people

  32. Another beautiful poem that makes me think! I believe what you see in a poem reflect your current focus, and this post gives me inspirations when I’m struggling to be present.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I’m so glad you feel that way. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  33. librepaley says:

    Wow, this is just so powerful, the breathless imagery and passion.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. That means a lot.

      Like

  34. The dangers of time traveling with mirrors 😉 It was a beautiful poem

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Haha, glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  35. fenlandphil says:

    I have come to the conclusion that we are only vehicles to carry our genes, they precede us and succeed us just hitching a lift as we travel through our lives.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. What a beautiful thought… it does relieve some of the pressure to always be the ‘best’, this warped version of our self that we run towards our entire life. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  36. The way different writers choose words and stitch them together is the most fascinating thing to me. Yours, to me, are so filled with beauty and purpose. It makes me want to crawl inside of your brain while you think or write to see what happens in there. 🙂 Reading this created for me the luxury of both momentum and stillness as well as the length and brevity of how time passes. It’s a delicacy in reading to be able to experience other’s emotions fully and find a part of yourself changed by it. This is beautiful. Thank you for your writing.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Thank you so much for the elaborate compliment. That means more to me than I could ever express.
      This just made my day ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  37. Shreya-
    Thoughtful post. Did you mean this to be a sad poem? I felt sadness as I read. Two comments resonated with me. The first “How little a difference your worrying made, how insignificant a change your obsessing bought.” What I hope you’re saying is that the Universe has a plan for all of us, and all that we do has a way of working out. I agree. The goals we achieve may not be the successes we plan for, but it is the path we are destined to take. Sometimes, we may not even view ourselves as accomplished individuals, but once we redefine the difference between success and failure we understand that “how little a difference our worrying has made.”

    The second “I want to tell you how little distance you’ve covered for all your running, how much of your life you’d wasted” connected with me differently. Do you mean that no matter how much one accomplishes, you still accomplish nothing? Again, we must reimagine what it means to be a success or failure in the American culture we live. Too often, people feel they are “wasting” their lives if they are not financially successful. My research suggests redefining success motivates the soul. If we can change our perspective of failure, we find our life’s purpose will never be a waste. reimaginesuccessandfailure.wordpress.com/

    Liked by 6 people

    1. That’s definitely a reassuring perspective. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and share such a detailed insight. I’m so glad you enjoyed reading. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  38. “How little a difference your worrying made, how insignificant a change your obsessing bought. ”

    Love those lines 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Thank you. I’m so glad you enjoyed it.

      Like

  39. gauriwalecha says:

    Sometimes we forget that life is not just about chasing dreams,it is also about standing ashore to this brisk river and find peace in its flow. I just wish that we could explain this to ourselves.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. I love the idea of that. Maybe we are so caught up in the currents of this river that we simply can’t stop. At least that’s what it feels like.
      Thank you so much for taking the time to read and share this here! It means a lot.

      Liked by 4 people

  40. Pia Majumdar says:

    such gorgeous lines 😍😍♥️

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much, Pia! ❤

      Like

    2. Pia Majumdar says:

      Became your fan 🌻😊

      Liked by 1 person

  41. Tom Burton says:

    Fantastic read! Beautifully poetic language with vivid imagery throughout that touches the soul. Really enjoyed this! ❤
    Glad to see you again! 😀

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Yes, it’s been a while, and I’m so glad to be back. A hint of writer’s block sent me scrambling to get a piece in before it settled.
      Thank you so much, Tom. I’m so glad you liked it.
      How’s 2019 treating you?

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Tom Burton says:

      😀 😀 😀 Very well, thank you ever so much! Branching out into short stories now to (hopefully) improve my writing. Really enjoyed trying flash fiction for a change.
      Feel free to drop by & read a few if you’re interested! ❤ More on the way!

      Liked by 2 people

    3. Same here… loving the writing part of it, though I’m not having much luck with actually finishing one.
      I would love to drop by for a read. Looking forward to seeing you around! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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