Faith

Fortune. Destiny. Fate. Callings. God.

These secrets of the human race, those tantalizing tidbits that lie forever undiscovered.

These beliefs for which there can never be enough witnesses, never enough stories.

I heard it, they’ll say. I saw it with my own eyes.

But the what-ifs are always stronger.

. . .

Do you remember- those days when we told ourselves that if we wished for something hard enough, it would come true?

Those nights where we’d close our eyes, clasp our hands together, and murmur, again and again, this secret wish, willing it to life.

Or maybe pluck an eyelash, hold it against our thumbs, whisper a prayer with our breath.

Please, we might have said- to who, I’ll never know. I’ll do anything.

This silent desperation: I’ll do anything.

The world was simple then, a game of trade, an eye for an eye. If we did this mysterious ‘something’, plucked enough eyelashes, it was only fair- we reasoned- only fair to give us what we wanted.

Those countless conversations about what you could ask for, why some things work and others don’t, what we’ve done wrong.

The incessant questions, us bent over, trying to figure everything out, as if belief was just a puzzle, and if we shifted the pieces around enough times, everything would finally make sense.

The moments of hysteria, telling ourselves that it doesn’t matter; so, so close to giving up.

How long did it take us to understand? How many times did we have to be burnt?

. . .

And here we are today.

The inevitable shattered faith.

Maybe it happened in a single instant, a flash of light, eureka. I’ve had enough.

Or perhaps it was the cool receding of a wave, a void that stretches out further and further, until you realize the water’s all gone and it’s just your feet are steady on the sand again, free from the pull of the ocean.

Here we are, edging away from the fire, once burnt, forever shy. Some things just can’t be forgotten, can’t be forgiven.

Learning to rationalize, to justify, to reason.

Bred with well-thought-out opinions, cold facts and frigid certitude.

Bled out of all blind belief, all idealism.

We learn to forget, the magic of a faith in something that might not exist.

We learn to forget: that exquisite moment of the leap, not knowing whether you’ll come out the other side whole. But we were broken too many times.

. . .

Now: eyes wide open, opening doors with knives clutched behind our backs, sleep with daggers resting by our side.

Burn the bridges that have let us down so, so many times before.

We are level-headed, sober. Our feet steady on solid ground, in control.

Isn’t this what we’d wanted? Isn’t this safer, more prudent? Haven’t we finally figured it out, that there’s nothing worth trusting but ourselves?

But here’s what we’ll never tell you, here’s what we’ll never admit.

The jealousy, the sneaking doubt, it never truly leaves. When they say: I heard it. I saw it with my own eyes.

We’ll snub and dismiss, scorn and sneer. How naive, we might say. It’ll never last.

But inside, those flickers of doubt; singeing, searing doubt. Pretending the doubt doesn’t exist, as if it’ll disappear if we ignore it long enough.

The doubt, the what-ifs, the maybe’s, that eternal second of hesitation, that single leap into the void.

Belief. Tantalizing, taunting, tormenting belief.

Them, with their iron-clad blindness, leaping from the cliffs, coming back whole, euphoric. I saw it with my own eyes.

Us, with our memories, our scars, snickers and sneers.

Faith, this single, impenetrable divide, soaked in blood, brewed in death.

Faith. Belief. Trust.

I heard it. I saw it with my own eyes.

How long will it take for you to understand? How many times will you have to be burnt?

Fortune. Destiny. Fate. Callings. God.

Soaked in blood, limbs strewn all over, skulls lying discarded, forgotten.

Where’s your evidence?

Where’s your faith?

I don’t believe in you.

You, You, You.

Where is your faith?


Photo by Fischer Twins on Unsplash

. . .

In the past couple of months, I’ve been hearing from so many of you, asking me whether I could post more often on this page. I do try, but as a stubborn perfectionist, I’m not always able to get a piece out on time. I hope I can change that in the future.

But for now, if you’d like to read more from me, I’ve started to post shorter, 50-word pieces on my Facebook page, each day. Thoughts, musings, vignettes; it’s something that I hope will allow me to be less obsessed with elusive perfection, and become comfortable with the rawer, unpolished version of things.

I’ll still be publishing at least two posts a month on WordPress as well, though these will generally be longer pieces.

I don’t say this nearly enough, but thank you, thank you, thank you. You will never know how much this community has shaped me- as a writer, but also as an individual. How big of an impact you’ve had on my life.

People say ingratitude is an epidemic. It’s really the expression we get stuck on. Case in point, no matter how many times I edit a thank you note, it comes out sounding flat and formulaic.

But I need you to know that no matter how curt a ‘thank you’ can sound on the screen, I truly do appreciate it, every single note you send my way.

Faith doesn’t have to be religious.

For all those of you who’ve taken the time to read my work, give it a chance, give me a chance, offer a new perspective, feedback, praise, encouragement, you’ve given me faith.

In myself, in the world, in words, in art: you’ve made everything worth it.

What could I ever say to that?

PS In May 2019, I will be moving to a new web address. I’m shifting to a personal domain and I’m so, so excited for you to see it! Buying my domain is giving me so much more freedom for new features, design, and I can’t wait for you to get started there.

But on the downside, all those of you who’ve subscribed to my blog here WILL NOT be notified of new posts anymore. I’d hate for you to miss out just because I’ve shifted addresses, but WordPress doesn’t offer anything to straighten this out.

So to make sure the change is as smooth as possible, I’d be so grateful if you’d enter your email ID below so we can stay in touch. You can opt-out any time, no hard feelings. I hate spam and I’ll only be reaching out every two weeks or so for blog updates, I promise.

Thank you, again, for all your support.

Almost there…
Welcome to the club.


Advertisements

188 Comments Add yours

  1. TersePoptart says:

    Hey! I love it! Honestly, my struggle is same. I almost didn’t write for a year because I didn’t feel it would come out as perfect as I wanted to. But don’t stop writing, no matter what. Even if it’s not perfect, let us see it.Because the little imperfections make your writing seem real, otherwise the lot of us feel we would never be as good as you. Looking forward to seeing more of it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree. When you’re in that moment, it’s just hard to see beyond the block…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I love your writing, I can only wish you lots ofbsuccess, health and long life Shreya.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Michael. Back at you ❤

      Like

  3. Wow. Your writing is amazing. You had me hooked! I love what you had to say.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Hayley. Glad it resonated!<3

      Like

  4. You truly captured the ebb and flow of faith.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Patricia. So glad it resonated.

      Like

    1. Thank you, Rajender.

      Like

  5. “Or perhaps it was the cool receding of a wave, a void that stretches out further and further, until you realize the water’s all gone and it’s just your feet are steady on the sand again, free from the pull of the ocean.”

    Sometimes you come across a metaphor that fits something so perfectly you not only think “that’s perfect”, you also think “how can metaphor be so perfect?”. I think losing faith as sometimes a receding wave is an excellent example of that.

    Four nearly 15 years I have frequented a forum for discussing religions In all that time, I do not often recall any non-believer saying they still hear the call of faith, or that they doubt their skepticism. There have been a few, but it’s usually quite the opposite. But from what little science I’ve read on the subject there is good reason to believe they are mistaken about that.

    Really, who knows why so many people do not recognize the near impossibility of losing all faith. A whole lot of people are not that deeply insightful into themselves. That could be one reason. I’m sure their are others.

    Like

  6. I write too but when I see a deep one, I pause and appreciate. Bleeding on paper is the best… This got to me… Keep It up

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for this. I’m so glad you enjoyed it.<3

      Like

  7. You are a wonderful writer! Keep going!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this.<3

      Liked by 1 person

  8. connetta says:

    I’m always amazed that thousands of people can write thousands of thoughts. A day ,all different and unique. No two works alike.I’m glad I finally got around to checking out your work. You kept me reading. I like that.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Mmm I’m surprised that after all these aeons after aeons of thinking, we can still make new connections, still say things that people want to hear. Some days, when the words don’t come, I worry that this is it, I have exhausted myself, this is the end and I’ll never be able to write again. But I always manage to get through. I wonder though, if one day, I won’t. That scares me, more than anything else…

      Liked by 1 person

    2. connetta says:

      Relax. I have had that feeling creep in often over the years. I think it goes with having words follow me everywhere. I’m 66 now. And can confirm. You will have no choice in the matter. Anyone can write but a writer is always writing. I find that I write my best when I think I can’t write..Especially with lyrics. Words find us.we simply write them down in ink.

      Liked by 1 person

    3. It’s funny, I would say the exact same thing: I write best when I don’t want to. It’s so strange, most of what comes out when ‘inspiration’ strikes goes nowhere. Possibly because I edge around the words, afraid of ruining it, not sure whether I’m up to shaping the piece right. High expectations inevitably dampen any creativity. On the other hand, when you actually expect the piece to be terrible, it mocks you and turns out better than you could have ever hoped.

      I honestly can’t believe it when writers tell me they write when the words come. If I wrote when the words came, I would write never.

      I love what you’ve said here: words find us. There’s something so true in that, you can feel it. And it’s a comforting thought: nothing you write is ever truly yours, and hence you can never blame or pride yourself on it.

      Thank you for your testimony from the other side of the spectrum. It’s good to know we’re all tied up here…

      Liked by 1 person

    4. connetta says:

      I never know if I’m doing it right. In grade school my mom moved us from a small town school to a army base school. The army school was 2 years aged and I totally missed poetry. Teachers insisted that I could do it but to this day I feel insecure. I’ve yet to find “rules” for free verse, no one seems to know the right or wrong of it. I tell myself all the time I’m going to stop writing. Then a bucket of words spill out into poems,bugging me unroll I write them down.. My favorite always my last one written..I can recite them all. Like their planted in my brain forever .I used to feel weird,like something was weird about it all. These days I just go with it.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Monish Nule says:

    Must Appreciate your the way you think, man. Amazing Work, keep it up!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much, Monish. That means a lot<3

      Like

  10. This is a beautiful piece as always Shreya! Much love!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Anand Bose says:

    Your narrative on faith is a moving piece of philosophical literaure. Anand Bose from Kerala.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Anand. This means a lot to me ❤

      Like

  12. Sometimes we find ourselves in a perpetual loop of faith lost and faith gained. A powerful post – thanx for sharing!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I seem to be in that loop all the time… thank you! I’m glad it resonated. ❤

      Like

  13. It takes a lot for me to pay attention to someone else’s writing on this site. I am usually only concerned with what I am writing and posting. I have a short attention span and really need something that stands out for me to read it for longer than two seconds. But I read every word of this post and felt like the original visceral feelings that inspired the words were transmuted straight to me. Thank you for posting.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I feel the same: it takes a lot for a piece to hold my attention for more than a perfunctory glance, and I’m extremely protective of what I choose to read.
      So what you’ve said here truly means a lot: I’m honored you felt that way. Thank you for this ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Hummingbird says:

    I enjoyed very much 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  15. gpavants says:

    In God, not myself.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Beautiful blog, beautiful presentation, beautiful article. Very sharp thoughts expressed here. We need to know that faith and religion are opposites. Faith makes us human, makes it possible to trust, love fearlessly. Religion uses faith to tear us apart.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment.

      My knee-jerk reaction was to agree with what you’ve said- becuase I’ve said the same thing to myself so many times- but now, I find myself holding back because there are so many places where faith and religion blur together, to such an extent that it’s impossible to tear them apart. And often, this results in something just as beautiful as a personal faith: a shared, communal belief that can bring people together with the strongest of bonds. And of course, sometimes, this results in terrible situations where people come together only to destroy and are blinded to all other faith. But it seems wrong to ignore that other side of religion, even if I can’t completely understand it.
      I suppose I’m not sure whether it’s right on our part to dismiss all these communities that people have forged together out of religion. Some part of me fears that’s as narrow-minded as claiming that your religion is the only true one…

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Thank you Shreya! You have been truly blessed to witness religion bringing people together beautifully, bonding them harmoniously. I crave to know of such. I follow no religion. But I believe. I believe in universal powers of love, humanity. If a religion does exist which enforces this, I would love to know of it. Searching…

      Liked by 2 people

    3. Perhaps not at a global level, but in a small scale, within the smallest groups of people, I do believe a shared belief can be powerful. I’ve never experienced it myself, but throughout my life- especially since I come from a religious background- I’ve seen it all around me. And it’s confounding, it truly is, because I can’t understand that sort of a blind faith, but I can see the comfort and hope it gives them, and it’s such a beautiful thing… and in those few precious seconds, when I chose to pretend that I had that sort of a faith in me, I could feel it, what you’ve said: “the universal powers of love, humanity.”
      But in that train of thought, maybe religion is only another way to reach this destination, to seek out community, to share love.
      Maybe the idea that religion is an end unto itself if what makes people so frenzied and unrelenting when it comes to empathy for other communities.
      But this is just a musing. Thoughts?

      Liked by 1 person

    4. I have always understood religion as a means to discipline faith, to bring and hold together, a community that shares one particular belief system. Ironically, religion which was created to aid in experiencing faith, has become ‘faith’ itself. Hence the intolerance for other religions as each one sees their path as the right one, the right ‘faith’. This is all purely my belief system. And I would be really excited if I were to meet someone who follows a religion that permits pure unadulterated universal faith. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    5. “religion which was created to aid in experiencing faith, has become ‘faith’ itself”
      Exactly. I think we’ve started to focus too much on these small details, like the rituals and prayers and texts which were only ever meant to aid in your belief. In the end, what matters is that you have hope. And whether that’s through a nameless conviction, belief in a higher power or a series of actions that are significant to you, how does it matter? The end result is all the same…

      Liked by 1 person

    6. Thank you Shreya for sharing with me possibilities other than my experiences. Really appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. galindojoe says:

    True. True to the core

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, Joe. I’m glad it resonated.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. galindojoe says:

      Yes madame. I already added you on my Twitter. My Twitter account is called Maldastania. Please, give me your email so I can send you my free e-book Freemind to your e-mail tray.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Pia Majumdar says:

    Shreya your writing is so serene and blissful, loving it ❤ ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much, Pia. This means a lot ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Pia Majumdar says:

      Welcome dr 🙂 ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  19. “Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Keep hoping and keep believing. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s a beautiful way to put it ❤
      What else can we do?

      Like

  20. Jackie says:

    I nodded many times in silent amen. You captured the tension between faith and reason, the movement between blind faith and sightless cynicism, with such ease, in everyday, yet poetic words. Wonderful!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much, Jackie. This truly means a lot.
      And I love the way you’ve said it: “blind faith and sightless cynicism” ❤

      Like

    1. Thank you so much for this. It truly means a lot ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  21. You’re absolutely right, faith doesn’t have to do with religion. And I have faith in you……to write beautiful, meaningful work 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much. That means a lot to me ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  22. blossomd says:

    Take a bow Shreya!! You’re an amazing writer….. love reading all your posts😊👍👏

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you so much! I’m delighted to hear you’re enjoying my work ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Beautiful blog.. You are an amazing writer..! 😃

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, Neha! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    2. My pleasure to cross the path of a splendid writer..!

      Liked by 2 people

  24. The Endurer says:

    Absolutely mesmerizing and heart felt. For me I envisioned so many scenarios but felt the strongest was a vision of staring in the mirror wondering why that void in there is the crevices of one’s mind and your words then come! Powerful.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much, Tony. I’m so glad it resonated ❤

      Like

  25. Sanket Rasal says:

    While reading this I felt like, am I reading a passage from Paulo Coelho’s book. You are amazing. Writing on topics like faith; peoples quickly take faith to religion things. And it’s strenuous job to write on such aspects because I think there is a thin line between FAITH and GOD and it’s a delicate subject, you’ve done this so impeccably.

    Also, you are a great writer. Whatever we write it must come from our heart. Some writers writes in hiatus, not because they can’t scribble daily but the logic is when you write it has flow and fall down from your heart to soothe peoples. We readers love to read what you write but it’s okay to take time. Indeed you take time for perfection but; that’s the result your words are unconventional.
    (P.S: Sorry, but that’s just a point of view and suggestion to you from a small writer;me)

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you so much for this, Sanket. I’m delighted to hear that. Faith is a sensiitve topic, and I have to admit: I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to pull it off without sparking controversy. It’s that one thing people are unrelentingly defensive of, and it’s hard to be unbiased and nonjudgemental yourself.

      And I appreciate the feedback. The writing process is different for different people, but for me, the delay only springs from pure laziness. I simply enjoy ‘having written’ more than writing itself. I am hardly sparked by those eureka moments ( or maybe I’m always under the influence of one)
      When I finally do get the piece up, it’s not a result of a spark of an idea, only the culmination of small thoughts I’d been too lazy to link together earlier.

      My compulsive editing often does more harm than good. A friend of mine once told me that there comes a point in writing when you’re no longer making the story better, you’re only making it different. That’s something I resonate with.

      But to each, their own, right?

      Like

    2. Sanket Rasal says:

      Absolutely! But whatever, you’ve became my favorite; my ‘Heart Balm.’

      Liked by 2 people

  26. Imageraza says:

    Hi Shreya,

    I could literally feel your perfectionism. It was a pleasure!
    Thank you for this profound, in a certain way reminding, post.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Haha, delighted to hear that, Chris! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  27. A very pleasant read. Beautiful, a bit sad, a bit nostalgic. Made the evening nicer 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you. I’m glad it resonated ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  28. hjlabre says:

    That was beautifully written. thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you. I’m glad it resonated ❤

      Like

  29. Abhijit Ray says:

    Nice.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Always interesting and takes my attention, i like your writings and stories🤗

    Liked by 2 people

  31. Anita Bacha says:

    Awesome piece, Shreya . Love it.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you, Anita.

      Like

  32. Very moving piece. Trusting ourselves is truely key.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Very true. Thank you, Stacy, for taking the time to read and share your thoughts ❤️

      Like

  33. Amazing!! You rendered me speechless …💖
    Keep giving new hope through your art. May God bless you dear!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you so much, Bhavya. This truly means a lot ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  34. Wow. Yes. Teach me how you pen!!!! This is amazing!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Haha, thank you so much, Amanda!
      “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  35. Theophilus says:

    Faith. You can read about it in the New Testament of the Holy Bible: The book of Hebrews, Chapter 11.

    Liked by 2 people

  36. sameermuley says:

    Reblogged this on ANUBANDHAKA and commented:
    amazing read from Shreya Vikram.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you. This truly means a lot ❤

      Like

  37. Aarohi says:

    Wow. Always looking forward to your posts. This one was just mind blowing. I loved it ❤️

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, Aarohi. That means a lot ❤

      Like

  38. My gosh. How do you come up with such beautiful and haunting creative masterpieces? Thank you for sharing your brilliant talent.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you so much, Hannah. This means so much to me ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Of course! Thank you for sharing your work! 😊

      Liked by 2 people

  39. Maybe I’ve not trusted enough, to achieve its magic. Blind faith is really hard when the world screams realism. Lovely piece by the way.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Mmm it definitely is.
      But I feel like it’s also, in a way, impossible to avoid. Even when you’re completely averse to religion and spirituality as concepts, hope is something we all need to keep going on.
      And hope, at its root, is a blind faith. You don’t know it’s going to happen. You just wish it will.
      The way I see it, however realistic you want to be, hope- and thus, faith- will always sneak in, because that’s the only way you survive.
      Thoughts?

      Liked by 2 people

    2. You’re right, at the start of this piece, it really brought back alot of memories as a child, when I wished, sometimes desperately, but it never did happened accordingly. Nowadays hope feels like a last bet, almost like a miracle. What if its just false hope? I guess it helps as well.

      Liked by 1 person

    3. There are always too many questions to answer. Too many what-ifs, too many variables, too many religions, too many beliefs. Who is right? I suppose we’ll have to make our peace with never getting to the bottom of it.

      Liked by 1 person

    4. I realised that the beauty of your post is the ability to lay out the subtle things, or the confusing, huge messy stuff and put it into words. Words we can all process and have thoughts about it.
      P.S I don’t think I will ever be able to make peace with it. XD I am in a love/hate relationship with this. Thanks for the sincere replies.

      Liked by 2 people

    5. Thank you. As I read this, I’m starting to realize that it’s all I ever wanted to do. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  40. Daniella Ntuen says:

    This is the first of your posts I’ve read and my oh my!! I couldn’t pull my eyes off the screen because I was so eager to know what the next word/thought would be. An amazing piece really!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much, Daniella. This truly means a lot ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  41. WOW! I enjoy reading ur post.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, Prithviraj.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. All my pleasure for sharing such a beautiful idea.

      Liked by 1 person

  42. Srushti says:

    This is so beautiful. I’m mind blown, this is honestly one of the best posts I’ve come across ❤ keep writing, please. You have a gift.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much, Srushti! That truly means a lot ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  43. Such a beautiful piece

    Liked by 4 people

  44. Merry Lark says:

    Bless you! I love your honest openness! ♥️

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you! I’m glad it resonated.

      Liked by 2 people

  45. I just saw your blog page after I received a new like on mine. At the moment have browsed through them and they are deep and thought provoking! Wouldn’t have chanced upon them till I heard from you. So yes, this indeed is a two way street to share thoughts.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. It definitely is. Thank you for taking the time to visit and reach out to me. ❤

      Like

  46. TJ says:

    Anne Lamott, “The opposite of faith in not doubt; but certainty” 

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I’ve always loved the quote, and I’ve always envied her stable relationship with faith. It’s such a coincidence: I was partly inspired to write the piece after reading one of her books…

      Liked by 1 person

    2. TJ says:

      I don’t think that’s the sort of coincidence that I would like to known for ignoring. Here’s something for you, and for me. https://open.spotify.com/track/4LBTeqOpEaIzEJBASIlnGH?si=DWiposQ5TiGr_UmaCy-FQQ

      Willow – a reason .

      Liked by 2 people

  47. Advent Voice says:

    This really was a powerful piece you know. Kind of took me for a side wind the first few lines. Honestly I hope you have the Faith to never allow anyone to deter your writing or pursuing the things you love. As flat as that sounds as the ‘Thank You’s,’ you are known to give to those that read your works, it is just as true. I do enjoy the fact that you agree not one person’s experience with Faith is the same. None would have stories worth sharing if it was all the same. I hope in the future you will be able to show through prose what keeps your spark of Faith alive. You will need that in the future if times ever get really tough. It is faith that allows me to believe that one day my art style will make history: That my writings will changes someone’s ideas about the world: and that one day all will understand the Aim of the Dream Weaver:

    Faith: The Substance of things Hoped For, The Evidence of things Unseen.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I agree. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. This truly means a lot ❤

      Like

  48. dchutten says:

    Fabulous workings. The pain, the darkness is so real. I agree that faith does not need to be religious. Keep sharing – I’m enjoying your intense talent!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much. I’m glad it resonated.

      Like

  49. Hello, i’m always enjoying your writings, it’s something special about them🤗

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. That means a lot.

      Like

  50. My Deaf Mind says:

    Where is your faith?
    It is not my responsibility,
    Because my faith is not your faith.

    Liked by 2 people

  51. Very well written 😊

    Liked by 3 people

  52. Faith can’t never be relentless and it can drap us with the weal elves anytime when we need ‘it’.

    Liked by 2 people

  53. Do you remember- those days when we told ourselves that if we wished for something hard enough, it would come true?

    With more than fifty years in my rear view mirror, I’ll tell you: Yes. I do remember. I guess that feeling has never entirely vanished, though it changes over time, flashes brighter, grows dimmer, flashes back up again.

    My first time here, by the way, and I’m glad. Your words are lovely!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Very true, and I love the way you’ve put it.
      Sometimes, I expect faith to be something I’ll struggle with all my life: how can you ever find peace when you’ve seen both sides of it, and they all make sense?
      Welcome! And thank you for taking the time to read and comment ❤

      Like

  54. soanuthatch says:

    Wow. The human condition right here on my screen. That was a nice read. I could relate to every word. I’ve never been religious, but there have been times when that nagging little doubt creeps up. I’m not religious and I found myself saying ‘Amen, sister’ every step of the way. Cool.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I’m so glad it resonated, Lindsay. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment ❤

      Like

  55. Well done and utterly professional. What to expect from a persevering perfectionist. If only I had been thus. Faith goes not on reason. Either in or out. I go in and out as convenient. Me the thief. Anyway very nice post.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love the way you put it.
      This resonated with me: “Faith goes not on reason. Either in or out. I go in and out as convenient. Me the thief.”
      There are so many times I’ve felt guilty for leaning back on a faith I never believed in, only trusting in it when I needed to. It does beg the question: what can you get away with? What are the rules, and what are the penalties?
      Religion answers those questions for you, but the entire concept of religion is too restricted for me, too controlled.
      So I suppose you have to go back to what faith is, or what faith means for you… but there are always too many questions to answer, too many variables to set into place.

      Like

  56. Matthew B says:

    I choose to believe that everything works out exactly the way it should. That all the chaos and pain in the world is necessary for the process of the universe learning about itself. That all I pain I’ve experienced is necessary for the process of discovering myself. I choose to believe this, because without this belief I fear I will spiral down into a void of hopeless despair. Is this faith?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. That’s something I’ve been drawn to recently as well. I find the idea alluring, that all the dots connect, that in the end, it will all make sense… and in a way, I suppose this is faith too because we choose to trust in something that might not necessarily be true.
      But I find that overthinking things like this tends to work against you.
      If you find yourself at the edge of that cliff, and you want to leap- if you know you will benefit from it- there’s nothing you can do but close your eyes and jump.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Matthew B says:

      Yes, overthinking is a constant challenge of mine…
      When you’re on the edge of that cliff, you can also choose to believe that if you crash and burn, that’s also exactly what needs to happen to further your evolution 😉.

      Liked by 1 person

  57. Mukhamani says:

    Wonderful. Faith in myself and faith in a higher power has helped me to face all that has come in my life. This is 1not just about going to the temple or praying for hours, it is something within me and also my faith in my husband.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. And if there’s anything I know for sure about faith, it’s that it’s deeply personal and undeniably unique. No two people’s faith are the same, and there’s something beautiful in that.
      I hope I can find some version of my own faith one day….

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Mukhamani says:

      Yes, you will.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s interesting and I like reading it~

      Liked by 1 person

  58. Faith – it’s such a strong notion, you know, but delicately balanced on a thin line at the same time. I can’t comment on the thiestic aspect but there is another trait that faith begets – hope. Hope is a wonderful thing. It’s a massive driver of human effort.

    Writing about such topic really needs you to see through & through and being convinced yourself. I would say you pulled it off beautifully.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Absolutely right. I suppose that’s why we’re all so collectively drawn to faith; for hope.
      Thank you, Chandan. I’m glad it resonated.

      Liked by 2 people

  59. Dhruv Mishra says:

    Amazing, just amazing! Keep up the good work.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, Dhruv.

      Like

  60. orkidedatter says:

    I am grateful that you share and you always touch something inside me -my heart and soul.
    Blogging should be pleasurable and you post when it suits you best and when it is right for you.
    Happy blogging and never stop beeing you
    Love from Norway🦋

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. This means more to me than you could ever know ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  61. sameer muley says:

    amazing words, faith needs to be earned, can not be passed as a gift.Besides this struggle for faith is one day at a time. sometimes Process needs to be repeated many time in a day or in so many days.
    we have, we lose,we restore faith only, journey goes on

    Liked by 5 people

  62. Onward!

    Neil Scheinin (a reader from the USA)

    Liked by 3 people

  63. The Warden says:

    Having gone through my own crisis of faith fairly recently, and having exited with my faith intact, I found this piece fascinating; particularly the examination of the mindset of the “apostate,” if you will. I haven’t seem many authors or poets tackle the concept of doubting one’s doubt before. And you did it so elegantly:

    “Now: eyes wide open, opening doors with knives clutched behind our backs, sleep with daggers resting by our side. … Haven’t we finally figured it out, that there’s nothing worth trusting but ourselves? … Them, with their iron-clad blindness, leaping from the cliffs, coming back whole, euphoric. I saw it with my own eyes.”

    It’s very easy (and very common) to flatly condemn either skepticism or faith, so the philosophical nuance here is all the more remarkable. Great work, Shreya!

    Liked by 7 people

    1. I think it’s not a popular topic because it’s so personal… you either believe or you don’t, for your own reasons.

      I was actually hesitant to post it at all, because I didn’t know how many people would be able to relate to it. Especially since faith is influenced so much by your upbringing and your background, I find that most of the time, it’s more of an innate belief rather than a choice. Most stand firmly on either side of the barrier; I feel like I’m always right in the middle, not sure which side to join.

      And since there’s such a clear divide, it’s obviously easier to take a flat stance, because you can’t understand the other side.

      As someone who’d been lingering on the border throughout my life, I suppose I was better poised to take a neutral stance.

      You never know the truth. Who is right? That still bothers me.

      When you’re in the moment of the leap, you can believe, with no doubt, that all of it is real. And when you come out in pieces, you know- with no doubt- that it was all fake.

      It’s still something that I can’t figure out, but I suppose that’s the point of ‘faith’. To trust even in those moments of confusion.

      But blind belief was never something that came easily to me.

      Liked by 3 people

    2. The Warden says:

      Well, I’m glad that you did end up posting it. As I said, art that discusses faith is seldom made by individuals as sincere and thoughtful as you are. Unfortunately, it turns out that there are huge markets for both “All atheists are baby-eating demons!” and “All religious people are regressive Neanderthals!” Quite frankly, those sorts of generalized invectives are really sickening, and I’m happy to find common ground with anyone who refuses to verbally tar-and-feather others based on faith or the absence thereof.

      In relation to the topic of inheriting faith from one’s parents, I won’t deny that a person’s upbringing has a huge effect on his/her thinking. As a result, I think that most people simply continue in their parents’ faith, without any sort of critical or philosophical evaluation. The same thing happens all the time with politics; people just inherit the views or party allegiance of their parents, and shun the “other side.” All I’m saying is that many people seem to uncritically follow in their predecessors’ footsteps, rather than making a conscious choice in philosophical, religious, or political matters. Changing perspectives is entirely alien to such people.

      Apologies for rambling. My point in the last paragraph is that people can choose what to believe, although many do not-whether out of apathy, fear of social consequences, or simply fear of uncertainty. And, for the record, I’m not condemning you for not “taking a side.” It is quite clear to me that you are thinking things through, and, for the moment, you’ve found yourself in the middle.

      Anyway, I wish you the best of fortune in both your poetry and – for lack of a less corny way to say it – your spiritual journey.

      Liked by 2 people

    3. It definitely is sickening, which is why I wasn’t sure whether I even wanted to open up a conversation about it. Inevitably, there will be people who have narrower opinions, and I’m still worried that it’ll become too agressive.
      But I do think personal faith- as opposed to institutionalized religion- can and should be discussed. The problem arises when you delve too deeper into the specifics, like how you believe, what you believe in, rituals, customs, history. These details are completely insignificant. What matters is that you believe. And how you believe is never going to be the same way I believe.

      I think that’s why to me, spirituality is a much more welcome concept that strict religion, becuase its definition allows so much more freedom in terms of faith. But that’s merely a personal opinion.

      My wishes to you as well. I hope you find your feet steady on solid ground with your heart stilll swaying to the pull of the ocean (how is that for corny?)

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Shubham. That means a lot.

      Liked by 2 people

  64. ignited says:

    Wonderfully penned 🙂

    Liked by 6 people

  65. Ethan NOPE says:

    Growing up in a religious home — and having my own intermittent periods of mythomania — primed me all too well for this piece. That transition from the world of faith, the fears and specters which haunt one in it, the weight of eternity hanging on every present… You have captured something essential of it, both the loss and the stability, both the disappointment and the relief. Seeing the price of magic, soaked in blood it all — certainty the greatest killer there ever has been or will be — yet still knowing the thrill of that leap, of living in that world of infinite possibility.

    “Them, with their iron-clad blindness, leaping from the cliffs, coming back whole, euphoric. I saw it with my own eyes.” How wonderful is that leap, how one never wants to chase anything else again, any other high, any other joy, but one awakes so cruelly to one’s own cruelty, the price of that leap: “Soaked in blood, limbs strewn all over, skulls lying discarded, forgotten.” So, one must give it up — one feels one must — forever ruined to the world one knows by the world one knew.

    Again, I feel not so alone, that you are here to give a form to those ineffable confusions which haunts us from one state to the next, one god to another (in the loosest sense). Were you never to write again, still, you would be a master poet — a searcher of the depths — if only for what you have already accomplished, though I hope you never deprive the world of the gift of you words. A rare talent, which is beyond mastery of form onward into the sight of a seer. All faith need not be religious, yes! Need neither all oracles!

    May a light find you which no certainty does corrupt and no cruelty taint,
    A comfort for all times, all ages—open to the world entire, yet beyond
    (If such a thing exists)
    —Ethan

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Growing up in a religious home myself, everything you’ve said here resonates deeply with me.
      The ‘faithful’ offer no answers- content to close their eyes and take the leap- while the ones without faith choose the ignore the other side of it altogether, dismissing religion as a mere fantasy.

      As someone teetering right on the border, I hardly know what to believe., who to believe, who to trust…. some days, I might wake up wholly convinced of my faith, while others days bring with them a willful atheism. Both beliefs may last for years together or maybe just an hour.

      I can’t even trust myself, with my divided convictions, each side has their own reasoning. Everything makes perfect, illogical sense in the moment; the confusion only arises in retrospect.
      I don’t believe in you, I might say, but with those very words, I am believing, and I don’t want to.
      There’s simply no way out.

      It’s really no wonder that so much blood is shed over this. Faith is a dangerous thing. It demands blindness from us, cuts deep into our hearts while we cannot see, digs a knife into our backs, convinces us that the pain is truly euphoria. But when the high fades, it all comes back.

      And you never know whether you have begun to open your eyes to the cold, un-magical truth then, or if you’ve started to blind yourself to the reality of the supernatural.

      In this comment, I’ve somehow managed to sort out my thoughts more articulately than I ever could before, and a big part of that was in response to the clarity of your own thoughts. Thank you for that, Ethan.

      I’ll welcome doubt with all my heart but if such a comfort does exist, I hope I don’t catch it: it’s rare that any art can survive in luxury and contentment. The need to write is only there in the most painful of moments, the need for truth only arises in austerity.

      I’m overwhelmingly grateful all the same, for your presence here. Thank you.

      Liked by 4 people

    2. I see your dilemma, I see where you are. Thank you for being so raw and honest with us, Shreya. Thank you for writing this poem that does indeed tell a story our eyes cannot leave.

      But I also see a common misconception, sometimes in myself also, as to what faith and comfort are. Faith is not mystical, it is not a feeling. It is trust in what we cannot see but know as a fact to be true. It is a hope founded not on air or feelings, but on a solid rock. “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

      Why do many believers take leaps of faith, and suffer torture and death for their faith? It isn’t for the fun of it for sure. These actions are the test of their faith. How strong is it?
      These believers throw themselves at God’s mercy and trust their lives into His hands because of how firm salvation, how true their faith, how steady God is. They have comfort and peace knowing where they’re going and who they’re following.

      And comfort—it is not physical richness and the satisfaction of worldly needs. It is not just words, not just feelings. Comfort is peace. It is the knowledge that God’s got it all, that He makes all things come together for the good of those who seek Him. It is the assurance of their eternal salvation and spiritual safety. And for this, they risk everything, they give it all, they throw it all at God’s feet and return it to Him who gave it all to them. He saved them, rescued them from death, from fear, from depression, and brought them into His sheepfold, into His secure and eternal light.

      It is not physical safety. For there are those who hate the light, who try to extinguish it. It is by the hands of these misled people that they are killed.
      God is not any less good for what happens. He works it all for good, and lets these things happen so that they grow in their faith and so that others may see and come to Him also—for He is not willing that any should perish and go to hell.

      And this is why God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to save us.
      He created humans perfect, but they sinned against Him and disobeyed, dying to God so that they could live to self. And so they gave the sin nature to all their children, so that everyone is born with it. And all sin deserves death.

      But God didn’t want anyone to die and go to hell. He is a forgiving God, a loving God. So He made the ultimate sacrifice by sending His Son to pay for our sins for all eternity on the cross. Through Jesus’ sacrifice, God is offering salvation and peace. Not temporary peace, but lasting peace that comes by faith in Him. All He asks you to do is believe in Him and His Son, Jesus Christ, and their sacrifice on the cross. Once you believe in Him—trust that it is true, know that it truly happened—you are eternally secure. You have a place in Heaven with God!

      It does not take your problems away. Those are there to test you and strengthen you. It is not a health-and-wealth gospel.
      It is a gospel of peace, of faith, of assurance, of knowledge. A gospel of eternal comfort, eternal security. “For nothing can take you out of His hand.”

      And it is in God, in this gospel, that we trust. It is by God, through God, that we have comfort. And it is through His promises that we have peace.

      Liked by 1 person

    3. Thank you for sharing this here, Anne. Definitely something to give thought to…

      Liked by 1 person

    4. If you’d like to talk more about it, I’m always available! Doubt is a tough monster to deal with, and this world gives no answers.
      You can find me at my blog or email me at annecaitlin@annecaitlin.com 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  66. izuzetannero says:

    An awesome glued-to-the-screen type of art work.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Thank you. I’m glad you liked it ❤

      Like

    2. izuzetannero says:

      Great job, more grease to your power 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  67. The Graphite Syringe says:

    Without doubt there would never be room to grow deeper. I’m forever grateful for that struggle with doubt.

    Thank you for sharing this, it does much to connect with others harboring similar thoughts.

    And as for your posting schedule, I fully support whatever direction you feel best. I greatly appreciate the level of quality you bring with each post. Keep being you. 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

    1. That’s a beautiful way to look at it, Mitch.
      I’m so glad the piece resonated with you.
      Thank you for your support. It truly means a lot.

      Liked by 2 people

  68. Margie Gandy says:

    Very interesting and honest piece. Faith is a hazy and obscure thing to try to grasp and hang on to. Guess that is why it is called faith……….

    Liked by 3 people

    1. True. Thank you, Margie, for taking the time to read and share your thoughts here. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  69. We have ourselves. That’s it.

    Liked by 3 people

  70. Tom Burton says:

    This was such a great read! 😀 Always looking forward to new heartfelt stories from you; take all the time you need with them, they’re wonderfully written & so thought-provoking! ❤

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you so much, Tom! That means a lot ❤

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s