Faulty Taps

Dreams surface with filters and edits: mine come out gray scale. I sleep wearing clothes I do not own, with a face I do not own, a face that is not a face at all, but a grayish blur of flesh.

Did I dream it this way? I wonder.

I hold breath in, I remember the leaking, the endless leaking, I shiver. Cold washes over me. Not over me, but under, cold sweeps under my skin and over my bones and I shiver with an uncontrollable urge to laugh, as if I’m being tickled from the inside.

drip. drip. drip.

Even when I do not scream, I hurt.

The water will burn, my brain warns, and my skin quakes, premature. As if screaming now will save it pain in the future. The skin does not know: the pain comes anyway, scream now or later.

Insomnia

Some nights, you come real close. So close, you can taste the sleep, you can smell it. It smells like dripping saliva and warm cotton cloth.

In the dead of the night, the clock blinking at 2:43 a.m., you feel like a corpse dragged out from the grave. Immortality forced down a mortal.

You feel wrong.

When dreams die.

Today, you may have a purpose, a will to keep going, and it might vanish into thin air tomorrow, no warnings, no explanations.

I fear the day where I will not want to keep dreaming.

I fear the moment where I will stop and decide that it isn’t worth it.

I fear the empty-hearted, empty-eyed life I could live, if only I closed my eyes and slept.

Vitesse

I run for pain, the excruciating burn of desire. I burn for the exquisite absence of thought.

The Heart of a Crowd

Perhaps for all our worries about our individual existence, we are indeed nothing more than one among many.

A single artery of a heart, pulsing and throbbing on impulses from our milieu.

You close your eyes

The truth is right before you, they say, but they’ll never understand.

You do not want to see. You do not want to know. You don’t ask. You don’t doubt.

You close your eyes, and believe.

Fall to Power

Whatever we did, we did for power. 

Money. Love. Beauty. Respect. Family.

Power to control, to seduce, to create, to morph. 

I was here.

If my name is on the page, if my name is scrawled on some distant pillar, I can’t disappear.

I was here.

Resonance

It was just another day.

I didn’t know you and you didn’t know me.

We were two ships passing in the night, on different paths in the same waters.

But in that fraction of a second, we were as close as two people could ever be.